A lot of times we let what other people think about us determine how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with others. This quote is especially inspiring for those that often let those negative thoughts impede on their life. Remember it’s not what others think about you, it’s what you think about yourself. And if you find yourself down, it’s up to you to change it around and define the situation the way you want.
"If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive. My poetry, my life, my work, my energies for struggle were not acceptable unless I pretended to match somebody else’s norm. I learned that not only couldn’t I succeed at that game, but the energy needed for that masquerade would be lost to my work…We needed articulate power, not conformity."
Ok, so I just happen to be a Khloe Kardashian - wait for it… ok, fan. (yikes, did I just say that out loud? Don’t judge me, you know you kinda like her too)
Well, last night the first episode of Khloe & Lamar aired on E! and there was a great take away that directly related to our previous episode – Dating A Man With Kids – Do or Don’t?. In this episode Khloe tries to encourage her bff, Malika, to be more weary of her Arizona Cardinals, married with not one, not two, but 3 kids, not quite divorced ass boyfriend.
The show details how Malika has ALWAYS been the chick adamantly against dating men with kids and Khloe criticizes her because not only is she dating a man with 3 kids, but his triflin’ ass is still married. Of course he’s telling Malika a divorce is pending and these things take time (we’ve heard it all before), which could very well be true, but Khloe is like bitch please. Of course, initially Malika is upset by Khloe’s concern and believes Khloe doesn’t want her to be happy….
MyTwoSense: ladies – when your best friend who loves you and only wants the best for you raises a concern about the man in your life, try not to immediately get defensive and angry. 1) She’s your best friend for a reason and 2) When your friends and family have concerns about your man, trust me it’s not because they don’t love you and don’t want to see you happy. Take a minute and evaluate your situation.
In this episode, Malika ultimately ends up breaking up with her boo and thanking Khloe. Now this is “pseudo” reality so take the story with a grain of salt but this is how things go down too often.
How do you feel about dating men with kids? Is a married man in the process of divorce off limits? Peep our episode and let us know YourTwoSense!
In light of recent reports that Rihanna and Chris Brown recorded a remix for “Birthday Cake” and have been secretly seeing one another we devote this weeks episode to discussing women that take back men who do them wrong.
Peep the latest epidsode and share your TwoSense!
We’re back off a short break with a spicy hot topic….”Dating A Man With Kids.”
Come on ladies, we know you may have been there before…you’re on a date with a gorgeous man, its going so amazingly well, got you trying his last name on yours before dessert, and then he goes and drops a bomb on you…he’s got kids. Whoa! Proceed with caution and check out a few of our things to consider.
Yesterday’s news of Whitney Houston’s passing rocked us to the core. We wanted to take a moment to honor her legacy, impact on music and how much she’s touched our lives with her voice.
May you forever rest in peace Whitney Houston.
I’ve been reading numerous reports about Charlize Theron’s response to a comment Viola Davis made during Newsweek’s Oscar Roundtable last week and for once, I might kinda be on the white folks side *shrieking*.
The Daily Beast’s article “What Charlize Theron Doesn’t Get About Black Hollywood” goes into detail about the exchange between the women after Davis’ comments about obtaining work as a Black woman in Hollywood:
Davis, who has won praise for her starring role in The Help, was attempting to explain the difficult plight of being black and female in the movie industry. “I’m a 46-year-old black woman who really doesn’t look like Halle Berry, and Halle Berry is having a hard time,” said Davis.
No doubt hoping to forge a sisterly bond, Theron rushed in to reassure Davis that she was indeed “hot’’ and naively implied that a simple change of attitude would make a world of difference. Her exact words—“You have to stop saying that, because you’re hot as shit.’’
Such a encouraging response from Theron, one that I myself might actually give one of my girlfriends after making similar comments, but obviously because Theron is white, there have been several articles published criticizing her for not being attuned to the plight of black women in a White dominated Hollywood film industry. One such example I stumbled upon on Facebook was from The Crunk Feminist Perspective, “White Women’s Rage: 5 Thoughts on Why Jan Brewer Should Keep Her Fingers to Herself”:
… Even her well-deserved Oscar nomination has not convinced Viola Davis of such ridiculousness. (And um, would someone help Charlize Theron get a clue?)
JustMyTwoSense: Now ordinarily I’m quick to agree when it comes to black folks being slighted in any way by their white counterparts; but only because I dig this chick (Theron), I went and did a little research. I must also say, I agree with many of the arguments in the article, but when it comes to bashing Theron, I was feelin’ some sort of way. And least I forget (before y’all start yappin’) that I totally get down with Viola Davis, so let’s be clear - I’m not talking about all the other issues. I’m talking specifically about Theron and what I’m sure was a well-intentioned response to a friend/colleague. As my good friend Danielle Jackson pointed out, well-intentioned folks get caught up in the cross fire of social and racial injustice all the time and perhaps this is one such example.
So yes, the obvious is true – she white. Blond hair, blue/green eyes, as “becky” as they come (mama’s German and her daddy was French). BUT…Charlize also grew up in South Africa and later moved to Italy to pursue modeling. In her late teens she relocated to New York and then Los Angeles. Given such, I found myself scratching my head; should she understand the historical context of race in America? Does she not know what we all know, that yes it’s harder for Viola than Halle, but I think that’s a little heavy for Ms. Theron and this was not the time nor the place. I mean surely she hasn’t been living under a rock, but I don’t think the comment was meant to be “misguided and offensive”. In fact, from Theron’s perspective, take the context of race out (I know, I know - where da do dat at?) the very same response could have been about body image. I can dedicate an entire book to what I’m sure Theron and Davis understand about the aesthetics of beauty in America, but this comment really, just really may not have been that deep.
Now I grew up with my mother preaching the mantra “…but she’s still white”. So I get it; South African born or not. All I’m saying is, I’ve had my own personal run ins with a few white chicks I really dig (ok like two or three). So sometimes *eye roll*, while I keep that mantra in the back of my mind and recognize we come from completely different worlds, one they can’t even begin to understand, I still gotta to give ‘em a break… SOMETIMES.
So yes, maybe Theron can stand to get a clue, but dayum!
I know you have TwoSense, let’s talk about it! Leave comments below. :)
Photo credit: usweekly.com
Today is the first day of Black History Month, let wisdom speak for itself from the “father of black history”:
We should emphasize not Negro History, but the Negro in history. What we need is not a history of selected races or nations, but the history of the world void of national bias, race hate, and religious prejudice.
How do you plan to celebrate Black History? Do you make it a habit celebrate throughout the year, if yes how so?
Photo Credit: nas.nasonline.org
In my post last week, It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I want To, I went on a little rant about turning thirty and the pressures to do something BIG.
What I didn’t include in that post was the ongoing fluctuation in emotion during the weeks leading up the the BIG 3-0. I was totally across the board – excited, mad, sad, erratically bitchy, anxious, overjoyed…yada, yada, yada. But now that the day has come and gone, I’ve been feeling a little sassy so I smiled when I read this quote:
I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.
— Marilyn Monroe
While we all have our weakness, we certainly all have our strengths. As I navigate thirty, I plan to keep Monroe’s quote in mind.